May 2012
4 posts
I only feel important when I have more than one...
Today:
Me:
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I haven't had internet access from a computer for...
Me and my mom right now:
April 2012
7 posts
if i proofread my homework and essays before i turned them in the way i do my text messages before i send them i probably would have spent all of my time in school on the honor roll
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You know what feels really good?
When you put a Q-Tip in your ear and twist it around a bit.
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March 2012
14 posts
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My mom: Your brother's going to be home soon, go clean his bathroom. Make sure this place is tidy by the time he gets home!
Me: Why would I do that? Is he coming home with President Obama?
Out of the entire year, I get the most exercise during the spring because I spend the whole season running away from bees and hornets.
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While I was at work today, I thought I left my...
My mom was home, and I went to call her to have her check, but I also remembered that in order to get to my bathroom, you have to go into my bedroom and I hung up the phone. So in essence, it seems I’d rather have my house burn down than give my mother an open invitation to go into my room. smh.
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You know you’re Nigerian when your mother asks you to explain your erratic behavior why the dishes weren’t washed before she came home from work and as soon as you open your mouth to speak she tells you to shut up.
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My friend and I just went around to our local gyms to figure out which one we wanted to join and we made our final decision by choosing the one that had the cutest guys.
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Question: What do you wear on a first date?
Answer: Whatever hides your pit stains.
February 2012
30 posts
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I went to Ross and The Dollar Tree today and they...
im gon look so good for the next few weeks because i stocked UP. emptied out both stores.
if you date someone do you tell them about your...
because right now im leaning towards a no never
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This bitch...
Customer at my store: *knocks over bottle of shampoo, looks at me and then kicks it under the shelf instead of picking it up.
Me:
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Nicki Minaj...
Girl…
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I actually think people who get upset with others...
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I've never seen High School Musical before so I...
What the fuck.
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These mascara commercials are always doing the...
Why don’t you sell us the false lashes you put on the models’ eyes instead of the actual mascara because we already know that shit won’t work the way you say it will.
Apparently 7 million people faked being sick and...
I called out of work but my excuse is real and I only watched the halftime show. Of course.
