March 2012
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Question: What do you wear on a first date?
Answer: Whatever hides your pitstains.
February 2012
33 posts
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I went to Ross and The Dollar Tree today and they...
im gon look so good for the next few weeks because i stocked UP. emptied out both stores.
if you date someone do you tell them about your...
because right now im leaning towards a no never
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Why do people like you?
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This bitch...
Customer at my store: *knocks over bottle of shampoo, looks at me and then kicks it under the shelf instead of picking it up.
Me:
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Nicki Minaj...
Girl…
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I actually think people who get upset with others...
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I've never seen High School Musical before so I...
What the fuck.
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These mascara commercials are always doing the...
Why don’t you sell us the false lashes you put on the models’ eyes instead of the actual mascara because we already know that shit won’t work the way you say it will.
Apparently 7 million people faked being sick and...
I called out of work but my excuse is real and I only watched the halftime show. Of course.
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Madonna is just...
Lady who? Britney what? I guess they’re just gonna have to wait for Madonna to die before they can think about taking over her thrown. As long as she’s breathing she’s going to turn it out and snatch wigs. Because listen…that performance…was just…
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January 2012
41 posts
I was drinking water out of the water fountain at work because I forgot to bring a drink and I got carried away and my mouth touched the faucet.
You ever hear somebody say something so stupid it starts to make you question your own intelligence?
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hereonmystar asked: I love your sense of humor
etiamatque asked: I love that you always like my photos. I love your blog because we hate the same things.
Oh God I'm devastated
This one time I was watching A Walk To Remember (actually I was doing homework in my living room and roommate who hated me wanted to punish me so she turned on her TV to whatever would piss me off) and I was on my laptop so I Wikipediad the article about the movie and someone replaced Shane West with Kanye West in the ENTIRE ARTICLE IT WAS BEAUTIFUL so I took a screen shot of it. Anyway, like a...
There aren't enough hours in the day.
I work in the mornings and when I get back home I take a nap and then I go to do something productive but I realize I have to eat because eating is important and I can’t think about anything else when I’m hungry. But I’m always too full to do anything of actual value after I eat, so I use the internet and before I know it it’s time for me to go back to bed again.
I had a hamster for 3 years and he died today.
All I have is 80 ounces of hamster food, an empty cage, and my tears and hopefully I drown in them because I can’t do this today.
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Me: This song sounds kinda like a Rod Stewart song.
My brother:
Me: What kind of name is Rod anyway? Rod. That's so fucking stupid. Like, what could Rod possibly even be short f--
Him: Rodney.
Me:
My uncle recently visited from England and I...
I just went to McDonald’s and ate like a mother fucking king.
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